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Couples therapy · California

Couples therapy for the fight you keep having.

Most couples don’t argue about a hundred different things. They have one or two arguments, in a hundred different costumes. Couples therapy helps you both see the pattern, and then change it.

Sound familiar?

You might be here because

  • The same disagreement keeps coming back, whatever the topic started as
  • Conversations escalate fast, or shut down completely
  • You feel more like roommates or co-parents than partners
  • Trust has been damaged and you don’t know how to repair it
  • A big change (a move, a baby, a job, immigration) shifted the balance between you
  • You come from different cultures or first languages and keep misreading each other
  • You are deciding whether to stay, and want to decide clearly

Approach

How I work with couples

My couples work draws on the Gottman Method, an approach built on decades of observational research into what makes relationships last. I have completed Level 1 and Level 2 of the Gottman Method Couples Therapy training. I combine it with attachment-informed and systemic thinking: looking at the bond between you, and at the families and cultures each of you carries into the relationship.

Slow the conflict down

We look at how arguments start, where they turn, and what each of you is protecting. You learn to raise hard topics without attack, and to hear them without armor.

Rebuild the friendship

Closeness is built in small, everyday moments. We work on noticing and responding to each other again, long before the next big talk.

Reach what’s underneath

Recurring fights are usually about something deeper: feeling valued, safe, free, respected. At that layer, real agreements become possible.

Cross-cultural couples

Two cultures, two languages, one relationship

When partners grew up in different countries, or argue in a language that is native to only one of them, misunderstanding has extra places to hide. Directness can read as aggression. Silence can read as indifference. A phrase that is affectionate in one language lands flat in another.

Having spent fifteen years interpreting between people and having lived in three countries, I pay close attention to these gaps. Sessions are available in English or Russian. Related reading: why arguments feel different in your second language.

What to expect

From first call to real change

  1. A brief, free call

    Both of you are welcome. Ask anything, and get a sense of whether I am the right fit.

  2. Understanding your story

    Early sessions cover how you met, what works, where things go wrong, and what each of you hopes for.

  3. Practice, in the room and at home

    We try new ways of talking during sessions, and you take small, specific experiments home between them.

Questions

Couples therapy FAQ

What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
It is common for one partner to be more hesitant. A brief consultation call lets both of you ask questions before committing to anything. If your partner still isn’t ready, individual therapy can help you change your side of the pattern, which often shifts the relationship.
Do you take sides?
No. In couples therapy the relationship itself is the client. My job is to help each of you feel heard and to make the pattern between you visible, not to decide who is right.
What is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman from decades of research observing how couples interact. It focuses on strengthening friendship, managing conflict and building shared meaning. I have completed Level 1 and Level 2 of the Gottman Method Couples Therapy clinical training.
Can we do couples therapy in Russian, or in two languages?
Yes. Sessions can be in English, in Russian, or a mix. When partners have different first languages, we pay attention to that directly, because it shapes how each of you hears the other.
How long does couples therapy take?
It depends on what you are working on and how long the pattern has been in place. Some couples come for a focused stretch around one issue. Others stay longer for deeper work. We set goals early and check progress regularly.
Is it too late for us?
Many couples wait years before asking for help, so feeling far gone does not make you unusual. I can’t promise an outcome, and no honest therapist can. Therapy can help you understand what happened between you and decide, clearly and together, what comes next.

Next step

Find the words. Start with a short, free call.

English or Russian, your choice. No pressure and no commitment.

Book a free consultation